and so it begins...

i was talking to my mom a week or so ago about weight. it's really time that i do something about this. i've never been "skinny" but i've never been this big and i've never felt so uncomfotable with myself. i don't feel pretty anymore. i want that again. i'm starting to really watch what i'm eating and i'm going to workout as much as i can. there's no reason to stay like this. it's unhealthy... physically and mentally. so it's time to get busy!
jen and i are going to try out a zumba class on monday nights. i'm excited. it looks like a lot of fun. i know it's going to kick my butt... i need it though.
i've set an actual weight-loss goal and everything! i'm not going to give up on this.

on another note... i'm supposed to be writing an essay at the moment... but it's really difficult to get started. it's supposed to be about why i want to be a school teacher. ugh. the answer for that could be summed up in about 3 easy sentences... but no. i have to write a whole essay about it. that's college for ya. writing writing writing.

<3

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life and things

sometimes i feel as if i'm getting way ahead of myself. i find myself longing for my own place to live, a husband, a kid or two, a dog...
i know that i'm nowhere near ready to take on the responsibilities that come with these things, but i just really want a life of my own. i want to sit down at a dinner table and eat dinner with my very own family for once. i want to tuck in my children every night, read them stories, say a goodnight prayer with them, and kiss their foreheads. i want to crawl in bed every night with my husband and talk about our days and love and be loved by the most amazing man in the world.
is it weird to want these things so badly when i'm only 18 years old? probably...
i guess the reason i want these things so badly is because i never had that kind of life. not saying my parents and family are horrible. i love them very much and i'm blessed to have them. i just had an unusual childhood.
i was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about school and life and majors and stuff. we are kind of in the same boat in that we want to be stay at home moms. not because we're lazy and just don't want to get our college degrees... but that's just what we feel we'd be best at. what we were meant to do. well anyways... i'm going to school to become an elementary school teacher because i love kids so much and i know that when i do have an amazing family of my own someday, it'll be the perfect job.

i just wish i didn't have to wait so long and go through so much schooling for it. i guess that when i do finally get my happy ending it'll all be well worth the long wait and hard work.

on another note, i got paid today. i needed it badly. i only had 10 dollars in my bank account.
also, i officially applied for centri-kid and got an interview!!! it's on october 29th and it's on skype which is kind of weird. but i am hoping and praying that it will go well and i know that if it is God's will, i'll get the job.

i'm starting to listen to music that i haven't listened to in a long time. it's bringing back SO many memories. man oh man. isn't it weird how music does that? you hear a song and you're instantly in a different place. for instance, this is kind of an embarrassing example, but the song "sexyback", by justin timberlake, reminds me of a friday night during sophomore year when i had just picked up my best friend darlene from the airport with her aunt debbie. dar was moving back to california and we drove from the airport to running springs (big bear) to pick up her cousin kristen who was one of my best friends as well. anyways, we blared the song on the way back down the mountain from kristens house. the windows were down and the air was freezing cold but we didn't care. we were so happy to all be together again. that night was so great.

well you get the point. old songs = vivid memories.

i think that's enough for tonight. i'm sleepy and i have class tomorrow.

goodnight. i love you, whoever you are. <3

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my day...

geez... i'm just now getting a break... it seems like i've been going non-stop allll day long.

this morning i had class. writing. not exciting. except kind of exciting today because we watched scrubs. so i guess that was pretty cool.

after class i went to chik-fil-a with kevin. that was fun. we figured out that every frida, the chik-fil-a off of sand canyon had all ou can eat nuggets and drinks for 10 dollars. i'm not too sure if that's a really good deal or not but i guess it could be if you like to eat a lot of nuggets...

after lunch i went straight to work and taught P.E. to the 1st-3rd graders until 3:30 and then the normal after school activites began.

after work i went over to pastor mike's house for college bible study. tonight was the first night. we watched ben stein's movie "expelled." it was pretty interesting. we used the movie as a sort of intro to a new study we're starting on the book "i don't have enough faith to be an atheist." i'm pretty excited about it. tonight was fun.

i get to sleep in tomorrow. it's going to be glorious. GLORIOUS. :)

p.s. today is 90210... 9-02-10

:P

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today i fell off of a ladder

it was the 1st day of school for the kiddies at my work (Arbor Christian School) and i was helping Patty (the 3&4th grade teacher) finish putting posters and things on her walls and i fell off of the ladder. i wasn't too high up and i landed sideways on a plastic chair. my hip hurt a little afterwards and i have a bruise on my hip. it wasn't as bad as it could've been. i have to admit it was kind of funny. the whole classroom got completely silent and i looked at the kids and laughed. i was just glad that this happened in front of a room full of 3rd and 4th graders rather than people my age. that would have been the absolute worst thing that could happen. i wasn't even embarrassed. it was just kind of a silly moment.

i'm glad that the kids are back in school. it's nice to have a set routine again. i know that unless another teacher calls in sick, i'm going to be doing the same job every day. i'm Patty's assistant from 1-3:30, and then after that it's just after school daycare. seems like a great day to me :)

i really should go to sleep now. i have class in the morning, then lunch with kevin, then working, then bible study at pastor mike's house. :)

p.s. i really love banana bread. i want to make some. i wish i had a recipe that i knew would be moist and delicious. i'll find one...

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Well..

my weekend was fabulous. :)
i had the youth group all-nighter on friday night and it went SO well. we did a video scavenger hunt, ice blocking throught the sprinklers, messy games, and broomball. sooo much fun.
saturday i slept a lot an hung out with eric and jen.
sunday i had church, then went down to the beach.

yesterday and today i had school but i didn't ha ve work, so i went to class and then hung out with jen afterwards. today we went to the beach. it was a really nice day.

tomorrow i have school and work. i'm really excited to have a set routine again. it's the 1st day of school tomorrow for the kids at Arbor Christian School where i work, so everyone's schedules will be back to normal.

i'm going to be working from 1-6. 1-330 i'll be assisting the 3/4 grade teacher and 330-6 i'm an after school supervisor. hooray for being back on a definite schedule! :)

well... see ya later. :)

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So Tiredddd...

i got 6 hours of sleep last night and i don't get to sleep again until tomorrow morning at about 8:30.

i'm about to go run some errands to get a bunch of stuff for the youth all nighter tonight. i'm also going to put some gas in my car.

i'm kind of excited for tonight. we're doing a video scavenger hunt, ice blocking, messy games, broomballing, and some other tournament type games. it's gonna be a good time. i love working with the youth. :)

i wish i had a costco card...

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Summer... School... LIFE :)

well summer is over. i haven't blogged very much at all, but i really should do this more often. i know i keep saying that... maybe this time i'll stick with it.

anyways, my summer was pretty great. i went to fuge (youth camp) and it was my first year as a leader which was really awesome. the 2 weeks right after camp, i went to washington state to visit with some family. it was SPECTACULAR... minus one thing. i was sick the entire time i was there. poop.

This is the view from my aunt tracy's beautiful home. i spent a couple days hanging out here with my cousin. love it.

since i've been back, i've been working... and working... and working. i do a lot of that these days.

School started up again on monday... i'm taking health, writing, and math. 12 units. not too little. not too much.

the youth all-nighter is tomorrow night. i've planned the wholeeee thing. it's going to be a blast! i hope the kids have fun.

OH! i almost forgot... i have a new car... only because i totaled the old one. it was a lot of stress, but i ended up with a nicer car? and of course... higher insurance bill. ehh... that's life i guess. being an adult is expensive. i miss those days when i'd get money and spend it on whatever i wanted at the time. oh well. haha.

it's been super hot this week. what's with that? the weather was so sunny and cool all summer and NOW it decides to be hotter that hades? i don't understand. dear autumn... please bring your weather to orange county soon. love, me.

i read a friends blog earlier and something she wrote stuck out to me. she said "if you HAVE to do something, why not have fun doing it?" while this obviously can't apply to every situation... it can apply to most. it's one if those things that everyone probably hears often but for some reason it just stuck out to me more today.  if i'm going to be stuck at work in the hot hot hot 100 degree heat... i'm going to do my best to have fun while doing it. there's no use in complaining about it... i need the money, therefore i must work. so i'm going to go have fun while doing it.

speaking of work... i gotta go.

<3

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